A Threesome Two Ways

Annika has had a really tough time in school this year. I thought she might have developed a food allergy, since she kept getting sent home with tummy aches, but I have since realized that it has more to do with her social life than with diet. She is in a threesome, and for girls, that means someone is always left out, seemingly Annika, more often than not. Her class is full of girls - 14 of 18 - but each of them has consolidated into a group, and there doesn't seem to be much movement between them.

To top it all off, Annika got a bad ear infection during her winter holiday, four weeks, ago, that still hasn't cleared up. She had to play inside, which meant that she missed a lot of playground time in the group. A fourth moved in and is vying for Annika's spot - she even had a slumber party for the first two, and made a point of telling Annika she was excluded.

As a parent, it is so hard to watch your child be unhappy, especially when you are powerless to interfere. This is, of course, my beautiful, confident, self-assured daughter (though I'm not biased....) The school has been amazingly responsive, but there's still a lot of playground politics that go on. Despite talking about it endlessly in the classroom, the children still don't understand the impact their actions and words can have on others.


And here we sit in Switzerland, with the kids in ski school, and now the shoe is on the other foot. Annika, who is so aware of how it feels on the "left out" side, has been quick to exclude her younger brother in her skiing group (2 English-speaking girls, 2 French-speaking boys and Benjamin). Though it is fun for her to have a friend in her class, it has left Benjamin alone, and vying for attention (which is always a bad situation for him!). Of course she doesn't see the parallel - I mean, really! - it is her younger brother, not a girlfriend, but the impact for him is the same. And of course, it also means that Benjamin can ski as well as she can - something she is loathe to admit! Maybe Benjamin and I will have an afternoon together on the slopes...